What Makes it a Review?

There are brilliant beer, food, and restaurant reviews out there on our internets. For example, check here and here.

I have an issue, though. As a reader, I tend to read the first couple of sentences and then jump to the punchline. As a writer, I'm the same way, and I'm unlikely to change. Here's what you'll get at this blog: a two-three sentence description, and then a suggestion (go there/don't go there). That prevents my eyes from glazing over and your head from itching. If you want excessive details, though, they can be found. But you may have to switch internets.

So these reviews are quick, but should not be construed as a slight in any way:

1. Prost! International Tap Room: beautiful beer selection; lovely space with a fantastic bar; a somewhat confusing second room with an almost disco feel; I ate the sausages--they were great; the folks are still working out the kinks but they will; a great addition to the Portland scene.

2. The Grill Room: what a fantastic space!; love the silver bull hanging outside; can't wait to "really" eat there (I had a delicious steak salad lunch); the 12 beers on tap are a little disappointing in that they are fairly pedestrian; Chef Harding Smith is a big flavor advocate--the philosophy doesn't extend to the beer list.

3. Vignola: ignore the snooty barmaid and belly up to the beautiful bar and order a bottle of Curieux, comparatively under priced at $18 (psst--it's $17 at the Hanaford's); if you are hungry, order a margarita pizza; this is bargain dining in a lovely restaurant.

Meanwhile, Back to Beer

When one is a committed locavore, temptations abound: The sophisticated Europeans, the sexy Scandinavians, the festive Mexicans, the cultured cluster of Canadians, the cheap Chinese, and, of course, the free-spirited left coasters. The granola crunching Vermonters are off limits. Even the real stuff from Bar Harbor is out of local. I paced the bar and ogled the stock. Three times. And then I sat down and ordered a 420 IPA. I sipped it, deeply. I ordered again. An Allagesh Dubbel this time. Again the sipping. Twice this time--I'd slowed down--before setting my empty glass down. A calmness returned. My third and final beer, another Dubbel, went down smooth and easy. I'd gone in to the belly of the beast, Portland's newest beer bar, Prost! International Tap Room, and survived with local morals and ethics intact.

Traveling Violations

I was on the road again last week, and I fell out of locavore. I will report and await my punishment. First, a triumph of sorts, however. The highly regarded and award-winning Beer Haiku Daily selected my passing of the beer season lament as the May 28 daily haiku. You can read it here.

I was in Clark, New Jersey and opted for Brooklyn lager to wash down my pizza. Unfortunately, Brooklyn seems to be brewed in Utica, if one trusts the fine print.

On the weekend, I searched for ramen, and found two decent shops: Minca, in the East Village; and Ippudo, near Astor Place. I drank Japanese beer at both spots. In the West Village, I went to a nice little izakaya called Rockmeisha. There I drank Japanese beer but could not resist the temptation of their strange non-Japanese offering, Frank Zappa Lumpy Gravy, a malty Brown Ale from Lagunitas.

Quick Updates

This brilliant post captures the current draft options at Novare Res. It also helps explain why Beer, Maine & Me is higher rated than Beer Locavore.

I stopped in Happy Teriyaki for a quasi-Japanese meal the other day. I was thirsty and held my breath as the waitress recited the beer list. After she'd gone through the A-B product offerings, she mentioned Shipyard Export. I latched on to it. Under the circumstances I was grateful. It was good, as was the food, although it was not particularly authentic. I'll go back.

Speaking of Japanese food, Benkay has some wonderful lunch options, including a rotating bento box lunch that contains almost more food than I can eat, for eight bucks. Benkay is flawed by the lack of a local beer choice, however. I am forced to drink sake'.

My New Favorite Local Bar

Novare Res, the revolutionary new bar located in the plaza behind the Pavilion, is a great addition to Portland's already robust bar scene. Check their webpage here.

It was with great relief that I discovered they had multiple locavore options among their magnificent beer offerings. I sampled two, both drafts: Allagash Odyssey and the Smuttynose IPA.

After the relief I felt when I determined that they were locavore compliant, my emotion shifted to chagrin--if that's an emotion--then pure anger. Anger at myself. With marvelous beer offerings from all over the world my choices were limited to the local stock--because of my own stupid rules.

I looked around: the bar is beautiful and clearly a labor of love; people were laughing and enjoying one another; the space will include a wonderful beer garden; the specialty beers and matching glasses are unlike anything in Portland. Yes, as reader Jabroni indicates, there were beautiful people there. There were also young people, older folks (people my age), people in suits, carpenters, fishermen, lawyers, bankers, and, most importantly, beer lovers. The owner gave us a bit of a background on the place and then offered everyone a free beer. I yearned for the Belgium, the German, the French, the West Coast, and the Canadian. I panicked. I left. I will return.

The Suspense is Building

Will Novare Res, the new Belgium Beer bar that opens in Portland tonight, include a local offering among its purported 25 draft beers? I will find out, and report back.

The Local IPAs

Since I lamented the lack of an assertive IPA in my most recent post, I thought I'd scientifically explore the local IPA options. I should acknowledge that my reviews are fairly simlistic--I like the beer or I don't, or, maybe, I'll say it's okay. If you want to know the specific gravity, check another blog. I picked up a few bottles at the Whole Foods, and interspersed tasting samples (a typical sample is 12 ounces)with palate cleansers. Some palate cleansers include: tortilla chips and salsa; garlic infused kalamata olives; and salted cashews. As an aside, I wonder why I don't lose weight?

Shipyard: mediocre, barely disernable hops. What the Fuggles?
Frye's Leap: I like it. Nice hoppy nose and taste. Clean, crisp finish.
420 IPA: Kind of funky. There's a flavor there (and I like flavor) that is almost more malty than hoppy. It's a nice beer, but a little untrue to the genre.
Smuttynose IPA: Tasting notes (okay, that sounds a little more sophisticated than I'm comfortable with) similar to the Frye's Leap. It's a nice IPA, but I'll give the nod to Maine over New Hampshire every day of the week.
820 IIPA: This bottle is 22 ounces and for whatever reason, my taste buds are slightly less discerning than when I started this tasting session. Also, the Sox have won, and the Celtics are in a tussle. Okay, that's out of the way. I'd repeat my 420 tasting notes--on steroids (the beer, not me). This is a flavorful, full-bodied, balanced, malty,hoppy, big beer blend that I like. But, it's not what I'm looking for when I reach for an IPA.